How to Regain Trust in a Relationship?
10 ways how to regain trust in a relationship. Analyze the current situation and start acting right away.
It’s much easier to live if you have trust in a relationship.
You know you can rely on the support of a close person and you are confident that there is someone, who is attentive to your needs and problems.
Due to this you are able to make more reasonable decisions in life with less stress and worry – you know you will be supported.
However, once everything is ruined, all close relationship, trust, love and openness – everything falls in the abyss.
It actually does not matter why it happened.
If you decide to skip this page of your life and turn over a new leaf – you’ll need to learn how to trust a person again.
Here we offer you precise recommendations on how to restore trust in your tight relationships with your second half.
This article is devoted to how regain trust in a relationship.
Reasons why trust may be lost
Before you decide how to act to regain trust in a relationship, you need to know why it was lost in the first place.
It’s just like in any disease – in order to begin an optimal treatment, it’s desirable to discover the reasons and symptoms of a disease.
So, trust of a close person may be lost because of the following reasons:
Jealousy may be both reasonable and unreasonable, but it does not change its essence.
It tears a person apart from inside, destroying trust to partner, even if you considered it to be steadfast.
The fact of unfaithfulness destroys trust like nothing else.
Really, how can you possibly trust a person, who betrayed you?
Fortunately, even unfaithfulness may be forgiven and you may learn how to regain trust, but the astuteness of unfaithfulness and the pain will not disappear and till the end of your days it will remind that the closest person betrayed you.
Discrepancy between man’s words and actions.
If a person says how precious his partner is, but all actions explicitly hint on the absolute indifference to a person, sooner or later the trust is sure to be lost.
The absence of trust at the first stages of your relationships.
There are some cases, when there was no trust initially, and a couple created the illusion of trust, or they simply enjoyed the relationships, where jealousy and arguments because of jealousy prevail (there really exist such “sadomasochists”).
Regardless of the form of its manifestation, lie destroys trust to everybody.
Even if trust is eventually regained, after lying the deceived one will never believe the words from the first time.
Discrepancy between the partner’s expectations and real life.
If he promised whole mountains of gold, limitless happiness and a life of joy, and a person gets absolutely not the things he expected, it will definitely influence a lot on how much you’ll trust to the boyfriend and to his words.
In order to learn how to regain trust in a relationship you should analyze the situation
Well, if due to one of the above-mentioned reasons you lost somebody’s trust, the first thing you need to do in order to regain trustworthy relationships is to analyze the situation.
Many people mistakenly, or even completely forgetting to figure out the circumstances how the trust was ruined, go to the second half and make the enhanced interrogation, which only make this difficult and unpleasant situation still worse.
At first, you need to answer several important questions:
- Which one of your actions ruined your partner’s trust?
- Do you realize which sacrifices you’ll need to make to regain person’s trust?
- Are you ready for these sacrifices and is this person so important for you that you’ll do everything possible to regain his trust?
Remember the time when your partner completely trusted you.
What kind of person were you then?
Which actions did you do that differentiated you and which are not typical of you now?
Define the precise definition of term “trust”.
Which sense do you put in this term?
10 ways how to regain trust in a relationship
Where should you begin?
What should you do?
Are there any ways how to regain trust?
Which steps should you make, so that your beloved one started looking at you with love in his eyes?
Now, when the situation of trust loss has been analyzed and all mistakes were taken in the account, one can pass to regaining trust.
Surely, it sounds very simple, but actually it may take years to regain trust after lying.
Ways how to regain trust in a relationship after lying:
Admit you were wrong (guilty), if you really were.
There is no sense proving you were honest, if you actually lied, because it will only make the situation worse.
Talk to your second half about the things, which happened.
Do it genuinely and frankly.
Find the suitable moment when your beloved one is able to listen to you and hear you.
Is the reason for distrust his jealousy?
Eliminate from your life everything that is able to provoke new suspicions – contacts, meetings, even thoughts about the object of jealousy.
Is jealousy unreasonable?
Make sure your partner understands there are no reasons for it and change your life.
Do not try to return things as they were, right after lying or a conflict.
Give your second half some time to come to himself, think and analyze the situation.
Is the reason of the lost trust the discovered fact of your unfaithfulness?
No matter what you do, everything will depend on whether he’ll have enough will-power to forgive you.
Do not humiliate yourself, do not beg, do not describe the details or pitch a fit like “you devoted little attention to me” or “I was drunk, forgive me”.
Just admit you were wrong and calmly add that this happened because of your huge stupidity, and explain him that you do not want to lose him, but still will accept any decision.
If he decided to leave you, you would not be able to keep him.
That’s why all monkey business, pleas and humiliations won’t do you any good.
Do not humble yourself or recall the reasons of conflict, do not create picturesqueness after lying, but sincerely start with a clean slate, as if you meet today for the first time.
A partner will have to either readjust, put the things right and support you or (if he made the decision that he would never learn how to trust you again after lying) to go away.
When you begin your path in regaining trust, avoid involving parents in this process, because they will definitely be excess.
Everything must be settled only between you two.
If your second half talks to you and even makes advances, suggest him a common trip.
You’ll have a possibility to quietly discuss all your problems and you are likely to get a chance to “get a second wind” for your feelings even after lying.
Prove your partner you are ready to fight for your love even after lying – you are ready to face compromise, surrender, and are able to solve everything without hysterics, like a normal person.
Prove him you are ready to listen and hear.
Have your partner forgiven you?
Never go back in the past and build the future being absolutely open, relying on mutual understanding and support.
Common mistakes in trying to regain trust in a relationship after lying
Sometimes trying to regain trust after lying, a person does some unreasonable actions, which only ruin everything and even push away still more.
If you realized you wish to regain trust in a relationship after lying, you should avoid doing the most widespread mistakes:
If you are wrong, never try to convince your partner in the opposite
Unconditionally, opinions differ and, perhaps, your position may be quite clear for another person, but your beloved one is not just another person.
He supposes you are wrong, you betrayed him or cheated, and it means that the attempts to prove the opposite will ruin the remains of trust to you.
Never blame your partner in losing trust
Very often, when we lose trust, we are inclined to blame our partners and their drawbacks, because it’s much easier than to admit you are wrong after lying. This concerns men as much as women to various extents.
Never attempt to pay off
Why cannot trust be bought? This is because trust is located in the spiritual plane, while money is in the material one, and these planes can never cross paths.
You can pay off by some actions, by bringing harm to his property, but after lying you will not restore his spiritual balance and trust to you by any luxurious things.
If the trust is lost, your partner will never believe your words.
Now, you’ll have to prove how much you wish to regain trust by actions.
We are sure to tell you about it later in the article.
How to regain trust after lying?
The first place in the rating of why a couple separated belongs to lie.
Lie is an attempt to hide any information from the beloved person.
It does not matter whether you do it for his good or fear to lose love, the fact that you lied remains.
You wish to come back in time and never do this horrible act, but it’s too late for this.
Do not be disappointed, because it’s possible to regain trust in a relationship after lying, thought the process is likely to take you much patience and strength.
In order to regain trust in a relationship after lying you need:
To leave your partner alone
At once after a conflict and sorting out your relationships the emotions overload you. In such atmosphere it’s rather difficult to prove your point of view and explain the reason why you lied.
Leave the room, breathe and drink some water.
To put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Yes, this piece of advice seems easy, but you should try to imagine how you would feel after lying or betrayal.
Do not be shy and image it brightly.
Would you be able to forgive him at once and immediately start trusting again?
Be honest with yourself.
Think which words and actions could help you in the future to regain trust in a relationship after lying and act accordingly.
When the dust settles, calmly admit your fault
Do not be too cold-hearted and arrogant and show that you are sorry for what happened and that you really regret doing it.
Nevertheless, do not go too far.
Scenes with hand-wringing and wailing should only remain in cheap soap operas.
To forget what he told you being emotional and attentively listen to what he has to say now
Perhaps, these words will have the key to how you should behave in order to regain trust after lying.
To be ready for a pause in a relationship
Realize that your partner sincerely loves you and your lie brought him real pain.
In order to forget about pain after lying and believe you again he needs some time.
If he suggested making a pause, do not be against it or chase him by “accidental” meetings and numerous calls.
To have patience
Much and much patience.
Wait till he calls, because the one who loves will definitely forgive and come back.
Another important thing you should remember – if everything settles successfully, you received the forgiveness and regained trust after lying, it’s not a reason to relax.
Mind that if you lose partner’s trust again, you may not deserve it the second time.
That’s why from the moment on you’ll have to watch your language and actions, never lie to a partner, but always take care of him.
It may be extremely hard to regain trust.
So, maybe you should not create such situations, in which you need to learn how to regain trust in a relationship.
Watch your love!
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