Are you coping with the difficult parting with the beloved man and don’t know how to let him go? Then, read our article.
Loss, separation or divorce with a man, with whom you had long and serious relationships are considered to be a tremendous shock.
After the long period of time you spent together, a couple becomes a unity and a man, together with his life, becomes a part of the woman.
That’s why it is so difficult to separate with the part of yourself in another person.
It is believed that in order to overcome the leaving one needs half of the time, which was spent together.
Nevertheless, you mustn’t give even a single chance to the former feelings, which can ruin you! Learn how to leave the past behind you.
This is definitely hard to work on yourself and until you do it, the doors to the other life stay closed.
Non-acceptance of a situation is a painful fight, which is very devastating and burdensome for a soul.
In any case you should look for a way how to let him go, because a person, who succeeded and let the beloved one go, improves his personality, and becomes stronger and wiser.
Where does the pain of separation come from?
How does this terrible inability to throw a man away from your heart occur?
First of all, let’s revise everything in our mind and discover all “rats in the attic”, which may hide there.
The sense of having something in your own property.
No matter what situation you are in, remember – a person is not your property. You did not buy him in the shop, you did not receive him like a birthday present, and you have no rights over him, which are proved by notarial certification.
He is free in his choice the same way you are, so try to understand and accept this fact.
If you parted and your deeply loved young man does actually nothing to change it, it’s his right.
P.S. Very often the pain from the unshared love is evoked by the feeling of offence.
You may have some reasonable and weighty arguments or may have none of them, but if there are some reasons why you are apart, there is always a light temptation to make your deeply loved person responsible and start feeling offended.
Though, a classic once said that you can offend only those, who want to be offended.
Expectations and false images.
Where is the offence coming from? What triggers it? These are all your unjustified expectations.
You meet a man who wins you over by some traits of his character.
You fall in love with the primary image and the further manifestations of his character or the appearing unpleasant circumstances do not bother you. You look at your deeply loved man in the light of the image, which you’ve fallen in love with.
Then you think how to change a living person, so that he will fit those existing images.
However, when everything happens not the way it was expected, your faith in the feelings collapses like a house of cards and the feeling of been deceived appears.
Get enough resoluteness and set yourself free from this pressure.
Useful pieces of advice on how to let him go
So that you let him go, learn how to give vent to your feelings.
First of all, it’s natural to grieve. Emotions are the good things here.
It’s also natural to cry, even useful sometimes. You may as well get angry.
Whatever you feel, you need to find a way how to express it.
As soon as you are through letting out your feelings and emotions, you will start the process of recovering.
There is a definite strict process how one can let go another person and the process how one can let out the feelings, when people are capable of doing strange things, such as dying one’s hair in unusual colours, eat tons of ice-cream and so on. Let it be this way.
Never embellish your past.
Maybe, you’ll start recalling all those good moments you had together and you’ll live them in your mind over and over again.
However, mind that if you think about all the best you had, when you were a couple, you won’t see the situation as it actually is.
If you are looking for the scientific approval, then you must know – emotions are proved to influence human memories a lot.
That’s why, when you are desperate and try to find something good you both had, your brains will even think up some turning points, which will fit your expectations.
Putting it all in the simple words, your memory puts on the pink glasses in order to fit your current thoughts.
Keep as far away from him as possible to let him go.
“To let him go” is a euphemism which means “to forget”.
It happens when you don’t give a damn about him. It may sound a bit harsh, but a softer word was not invented.
So, keeping away from such a man is the quickest way how you can forget him.
Surely, for many people it’s easier said than done, but you can try to limit the time you spend together with this person.
Use it as an excuse to go in for a new hobby, discovering new interesting place, where one can have a nice time or to party with new companies from time to time.
Do not adjust your life to the man, whom you are trying to let go, but think about your own interests.
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Don’t push yourself to the sidelines.
After you are done getting anger and sad or making deals with the Devil promising you will never be together with this dull boyfriend, few days or weeks, which would seem eternity to you, will come.
You’ll be perplexed how it happened this way and it’ll seem to you that you are lost in the fog.
Your only wish will be to keep aloof from everything, but you can’t let yourself do it.
Just for your own sake, for the sake of your future you must move on.
This is the very moment, when you can do whatever you like.
You are standing in the foreground. Do the things which make you happy (if they don’t do harm, of course).
Do not blame the whole world.
Soon, you are sure to feel better and the phrase “me, me, me” will change on “me, you, me, you” and you don’t have to be angry on everything in the world.
The fact that you are tortured and cynical does not necessarily mean you are getting more experience.
It looks like you surrender a position more.
Try to notice in people only the best things. It is actually so, but you must look closely to see it.
Eliminate all negative thoughts to let him go.
It is delightful that brain is our part and we can control how we think.
If you start thinking about bad things, you can stop these thoughts.
As soon as bad thoughts begin, you can eliminate them.
Sometimes it’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s quite possible.
Turn to your friends for some support.
Your support team is extremely important in situations of such kind.
They are able to distract you and help you overcome most of the problems.
Do not be afraid to ask for their help. They probably had some similar situations in life as well!
Ask them to help you lest you get caught in an endless loop of this situation.
You must talk about your feelings, but there should be some limit, of course.
Let them devote 15 minutes of their time to you, but then don’t analyze your situation and regrets so thoroughly.
They may not let you get stuck in your sorrow.
To let him go, distract yourself and get yourself busy with something.
Work is going to help you in any situation.
You will simply have no time to grieve.
If you don’t work, study harder, sign up for the courses, learn a new language, make yourself busy and fill in all fee time with some activities.
Go actively in for sports, it is an excellent way how you can cope with stress. You can let off steam and get rid of all sadness in your soul.
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Exercises, which can teach how to let him go
One of the key moments in the psychology of relationships and in the question of how to let go the one you love stay forgiveness and gratitude.
Exercise on gratitude.
After you forgave the beloved one, make up a list of things you are grateful for.
Again, imagine that you are standing right next to him and read, what you have.
Don’t forget to thank him for freeing the space to the real love and giving you a chance to learn how to love yourself.
If you find it difficult to thank for some specific things, skip it for now.
Be sincere and enumerate only things you are really grateful for.
Remember – this man, just like any other one, came to your life for a reason.
In case your paths separated, it means he gave you everything you really needed.
Exercise on forgiveness.
Letting go your beloved one, forgive all he is, in your opinion, guilty in.
Write down on a sheet of paper all your offences and complaints towards him.
Imagine that you are standing in front of this person and slowly go through the list, announcing every paragraph.
Mind, by forgiving him, you forgive yourself for all unfulfilled hopes and fake images about your relationships and future.
Let him go and finish the relationships. You need it to be completely open to the meeting with a new man.
If you do it, you won’t be looking at a new partner in the light of the previous relationships, but will accept him just as he is, trust him and let him into your heart.
That’s why in order to make the memories about your ex-beloved one not tear you to pieces, you need to figure out as soon as possible, how to let him go and let new happiness into your life.
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