Here are 4 professional psychological tips that will ultimately raise your self-esteem!
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How to get rid of this odious diffidence? How to stop gnawing and nagging yourself for every failure? How to believe in your individuality and ingenuousness?
A good self-esteem is your best friend in this situation!
So, trust us, this article will help you to raise your self-esteem!
You are clumsy, fat, uneducated… You are not very smart and skillful… You are an idler and a hundred per cent loser…
This list of rebukes is only a small part of your daily accusations and self-suggestions.
Remember, when you blame yourself for every trifle, you automatically program your future for failures and start feeling inferior.
Try to answer the question “When did you praise yourself? When did you focus on your achievements?”
If it turns out that only your friends’ birthday greetings reminded you of your virtues, then this article is perfectly tailored for you!
It’s high time we talked about your virtues and strong points and for that you should first improve your self-esteem!
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is an adequate evaluation of one’s personality, individuality, uniqueness, importance of one’s abilities and traits of character. To put it briefly, it means to know one’s worth.
How to raise self-esteem? Firstly, stop punishing yourself.
Once, when browsing different websites, I came across a very interesting story of a woman that was constantly gnawing and blaming herself for her complexes.
She has sincerely shared her experience of being overweight and called a “blubber belly” while all her friends were as slim as models. Once she firmly decided to motivate herself to sports and diets by doing a specific exercise: every time before going to bed she told herself, “I am very fat, I look like a pig and I must lose my weight immediately!” She kept suggesting herself, “No one is ever going to love me because I am so obese!”
And what did she get out of it? Quite the opposite! Her method didn’t justify her expectations; she only tired her out with low self-esteem.
Useful to know: How to love yourself?
Her physical exercise last no longer than a minute – she would wave her left hand then shake her right leg and that was it.
Then she would rush to the kitchen and swallow half a loaf of bread generously buttered with Nutella.
This was her breakfast and dinner accompanied by numerous muffins that made her waist grow by leaps and bounds.
Every time she pampered herself with these treats, the results were sad and she also got sadder!
And now let’s analyze the situation together. Why did this woman criticize herself so bad? Why was she guided by the thoughts that if she was so obese, it was her fate, her doom, her burden?
Why did she decide to put up with that and continued emptying her fridge definitely suffering from that by the way?
Her thoughts showed her despair, her weakness, her reluctance to fight with herself! She blamed herself with every additional muffin, punished her body for disobedience, for not losing weight, but gaining it instead.
If you want to improve your self-esteem — delve deeper into your childhood.
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.
As children, we look for support from our parents, relatives, friends.
We need their praise and encouraging words. Unfortunately, not all parents can see the hidden talents of their children (or even don’t try to see them).
They take a laissez-faire attitude or remain so busy that hardly find any time for their kids.
I guess, you all remember Robin Williams, a popular actor who starred in a comedy “Missis Doubtfire”.
So, at first, his father placed him in a prestigious university so that he studied political science and became professional in this field. But Robin was excluded.
After this, his father prompted him to get the qualification of a welder as he had completely lost any hope in the successful future of his son.
In our childhood we totally depend on the evaluation of others. A wrong remark, raised voice, an aggressive reprimand, low evaluation of our qualities – this all sticks in our memory and causes certain complexes in the future.
Important advice: How to find love?
Again, another real example from life.
“I am very afraid of public speaking. I start blushing, I forget words. I am so anxious that my heart is jumping out of my chest.” Oh, my God… “When in school”, 35-year-old Vladimir says, “I loved being upstage, participated in various skits and comedy sketches.
But one situation must have changed it all.
I was an MC in high school and accidentally overheard a phrase dropped by one of my teachers, ‘How could they have chosen him? It’s impossible. His lisping is so bad!’ Since then I couldn’t overcome my fear.”
Psychologists insist that only you can raise your lowered self-esteem while your past can be of great help for you. When we find the situation that brings about our complexes and worries, we can rethink and analyze it, allow ourselves a kindhearted self-forgiving and stop driving our minds into complexes, thus delivering our inner self from negative feelings!
How to raise self-esteem? Admit your uniqueness!
A friend of mine forked out a huge sum of money for a terrifically expensive fur coat.
Before that she had been convincing her husband that she was badly in need of that coat and even flavored her speech with some tears.
She needed compassion!
For some reason she thought that if she put on that stunning coat, she would become confident right away.
Her colleagues would adore her, her children would become obedient, and her husband would love her way-way more. But unfortunately… it never happened.
Her new fur coat made her awkward and clumsy as Winnie the Pooh.
Colleagues chuckled at her behind her back and her own daughter told her straightforwardly, “Mom, you look ridiculous in this outfit. Like a giraffe on roller-skates.”
Well, judge it yourself…
How to increase self-confidence?
It isn’t rare when, instead of analyzing themselves, people try to hide their flaws and low self-esteem under a more impressive exterior.
Just think of it: we spend so much time on improving our appearance while we could gain a double victory having won over our inner disbeliefs.
Those who think positively and enjoy every day will attract people of their kind.
Improving self-esteem is quite easy. Primarily, you need to appreciate your own qualities, admit your individuality and uniqueness.
Keep in mind that those who know their worthy traits achieve success in a snap of fingers. They know what they are heading for!
Scientists have proved that positive thinkers with an adequate estimation of their virtues fall ill very seldom.
Their immunities grow stronger and build a better defense against various viruses that can cause a prolonged stress and, consequently, headaches, heart diseases, ulcers and so on.
To improve your self-esteem — regard your mistakes positively
No man on Earth is secured against odd situations and failures. Instead of worrying about some weird circumstances, you can look for positive aspects even amidst stress.
You were refused a job? Don’t worry! Kiss it goodbye and forget it! Your life has a better offer for you, a new chance… Believe it as thoughts are material and keep smiling!
You broke up with your partner? What’s done is done! Building new relations you will be wiser, more experienced and better grounded.
Be positive! Positive thinking programs your inner self for the prosperous future. Thanks to it you will attract success!
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