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How to Build Self-Confidence: 13 Rules

13 Rules from the Professional Psychologist How to Gain Self-Confidence. Make Yourself Better!

how-to-build-self-confidence

Follow these simple rules and you will totally change your life and yourself!

Confidence will become your second name and other people will try to keep up with you!

As you know, weaker people always try to be friends with stronger people.

This will happen to you, as well.

So, let’s start!

What is self-confidence?


Self-confidence means that a person never has doubts about his/her potential, possibilities and opportunities. This means that a person is persistently trying to reach his/her aim and realizes all dreams to the fullest.

1. How to gain self-confidence?

The first thing you have to do is to stop comparing yourself to other people. You are individual and unique, and there will never be another such person on the Earth.

Finally, try to be yourself!

If you try to play the game called “Comparisons”, you are likely to lose it, as there are always people who are better and more successful than you!

The basis of human psychology lies in the very simple truth: nobody compares himself to a person who is worse than him.

Always remain yourself and be confident of your own abilities!

2. How to build self-confidence: stop criticizing yourself


Always remember that all your thoughts can materialize!

Many people suffer from a very bad habit of accusing themselves of everything!

For example, have you ever said following things: “My life consists only of unlucky streaks!”, “This could happen only to me”, “I’m always followed by the bad luck”, or “I’m always late”?

These phrases usually “help” a person to form a negative perception of oneself. 

Stop saying such things, do you hear me?! Don’t ever think negatively of yourself!

Don’t criticize yourself – it will not do you any good!

3. Your self-confidence depends on your communication with optimistic people

It is a wide-known fact that a self-confident person loves and respects himself, first of all, and then he spreads this love on people around him, which becomes the most powerful support for them!

Always try to communicate with optimistic and strong people!

You should remember that people who are full of negative emotions can only bring you down.

Their negative emotions and pessimism will suppress your dreams, efforts and ambitions!

They will definitely destroy all your ideas!

And after some time you will turn into a similar kind of a loser without even noticing it!

4. If you want to gain self-confidence, just believe in yourself!


Always live your own life! You should keep in mind that when you try to follow somebody’s ideas or ideals, you will not be able to discover yourself to the fullest, and you will not even have a reason to respect yourself!

Don’t wait for somebody else to approve your actions or appraise you.

You should do whatever YOU consider to be the best for you!

5. The basis of your self-confidence is your everyday achievements

Self confidence makes the little bird act as a Falcon and the single flower looks as a full garden. Self confidence makes your dream become true.

My dear readers! Spare yourself a minute to put down your little everyday victories into your diary!

For example, “Today I’ve read 30 pages of Andrew Matthew’s “Being Happy!” or “Finally I spared myself some time and went jogging before work, good for me!”, or “Today I’ve learned 6 new Russian words, hurray!” etc.

I’d recommend you to carry your diary with you all the time, so that you can always take some time and read about your achievements. This will definitely encourage you to achieve more!

6. How to gain self-confidence: learn to listen to yourself

Many unpleasant things happen to us because we don’t always know what exactly we need! Give this some thought: what if you have already accomplished your goal but are still trying to move forward, passing by your real dream?

And at some point you realize that your dream was so close…

It’s a horrible fact, but 99.9% of people always lack confidence, and continue to live with this feeling, thinking that they cannot achieve…

But what actually cannot you achieve?

Try to answer this question. First of all you have to think what do you really need in order to become the most successful person alive?

7. How to build self-confidence: don’t be obsessed with your past!


Never waste your time and your energy on the thoughts about your past! It’s already behind you and it cannot be changed.

Such thoughts can only prevent you from moving towards your goals!

We all make mistakes, nobody’s perfect. You should think only about your achievements and little victories!

Try to forgive yourself for mistakes and move towards your happiness and self-confidence!

8. How to build self-confidence: reconsider your occupation

You will definitely agree with me that it is very difficult to be happy if you hate your job and every day looks to you like an awful routine! But if you are engaged in something that you truly like and are successful at, then you are halfway to finding your true self!

If you are not ready to quit your job, you can at least engage yourself in your favorite hobby. Who knows, it may make you truly successful someday!

9. The key to self-confidence is knowing how to speak firmly and confidently

You should remember that words are very powerful!

One can distinguish a person’s character only by his words. Never speak idly!

Don’t use harsh words, try to speak clearly, calmly and confidently, and then people will change their attitude towards you!

10. Try to turn your weak points into strong ones!

How can you do it?

Oh, it’s easy, just try to accept your disadvantages and don’t accuse yourself of having them.

Everybody has some weak points, and you can be sure that somebody else’s disadvantages can be even worse than yours.

It will be easier for you to get rid of your weak points if you try to optimize them to the maximum. For example, turn your curiosity into inquisitiveness, and your stubbornness into purposefulness!

11. Get rid of your problems, as you would get rid of nasty flies!

Self-confidence can be gained only by that person who will not be vulnerable to problems, but would accept everything that life throws at him and try to solve it!

Let’s give it some thought…

Some people just love to make a mountain out of the molehill.

They can get steamed up to such extent that sometimes it can look ridiculous! Most of the time people are worried about such insignificant problems that are not even worth it.

Usually these problems are not so awful and complicated as you think, but you can make them the size of the Apocalypse if you give them so much thought!

If you can’t fall asleep because you think that you’ve produced a bad impression on your boss, just leave it alone!

Forget about it and you will definitely feel much better!

The problem will not be solved if you torture yourself because of it.

Love yourself! The key to self-confidence is to accept everything as it is.

Have some rest and say to yourself: “I’ve had enough! Now I feel better and everything is great in my life!”  😎

12. Self-confident people always write a list of their positive qualities

Every person on Earth has unique talents, skills and features!

Sincerity, honesty, kindness and sympathy are only few of them.

Pay more attention to your positive qualities, read your list more often, and soon you will gain your self-confidence!

13. Be thankful for the compliments to your person
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