How to Improve Your Self-Esteem?

The level of self-esteem influences all human actions.

Most frequently self-esteem of a person is understated, i.e. real possibilities of that person are much higher than the person thinks about his possibilities or imagines them.

Usually, it is connected to the fact that establishment of self-esteem happens in most cases in childhood, when the possibilities are less developed.

Moreover, negative surrounding has a serious influence, too.

Surely, there are some cases, when the person has overrated self-esteem, but it is most common only among very young people.

A different situation is peculiar for the adults – they have understated self-esteem, which is actually logical and can be explained.

The personality is established in childhood and early youth, when the capabilities of a person are very restricted due to the clear reasons.

So, how to improve self-esteem?

One can actually do it, but very often this is a quite slow process.

Nevertheless, the consciously made attempts to improve self-esteem can be useful almost to everybody.

Why is self-esteem often understated?

It happens because we live in the selfish society, where everyone, aiming to be better than the others (or, at least, trying to look like this in the eyes of the surrounding people or his own ones), is inclined to humiliate and abuse others.

One person lowers self-esteem of another person just because he has understated self-esteem himself – and he tries to compensate it by suppressing others and uses all available ways and methods, direct and indirect.

How to Develop Self-Confidence?

People with normal self-esteem will never make others “lower” or “worse”; they understand how unique everybody is and that everyone has his own place and role in life.

How to estimate yourself adequately?

• Give yourself a health assessment.

  Do not believe that by autosuggestion you can trick life: such trick may work, but eventually everything is sure to find its balance – everyone will get what he deserves.

• In order to estimate yourself properly, you are to eliminate emotions and see the situation clearly and with your mind.

  Sometimes it happens that a man, having read a lot of “smart” articles on how to improve self-esteem with the help of different techniques, including autosuggestion, starts to believe he is almost God, which naturally looks funny at the best, and at the worst – creates even more problems to a person.

• Define in which spheres you have understated self-esteem, and how you describe your self-esteem (which words you use, what your self-criticism consists of).

12 pieces of advice on how to improve self-esteem

1. Stop comparing yourself with other people in order to improve self-esteem.

   There will always be people, who have more than you do, and people, who have less than you do.

   If you constantly compare, you’ll always have too many opponents and enemies in front of you, which you won’t be able to surpass.

2. Stop criticizing and blaming yourself for everything.

   You won’t be able to improve self-esteem, if you repeat only negative things about you and your abilities.

   Avoid self-destructing comments when you are speaking about your appearance, career, relationships, financial situation or any other aspects of your life.

   Correction of self-esteem is directly connected to the statements and opinions you have about your own personality.

3. Accept all compliments and congratulations answering “thank you”.

   When you give answer to the compliment using something like “there is nothing special about it”, you deny the compliment and at the same moment send a message that you are not worth of praise, developing understated self-esteem by it.

   That’s why, accept praise and do not diminish your merits.

   How to Build Self-Confidence: 13 Rules

4. Use affirmations (assertions) as a way how you can improve self-esteem.

   Put an affirmation on an often used item, such as credit card or a purse, for example. It may say “I love and accept myself” or “I’m an attractive woman and I deserve the best” or something like that.

   Let this affirmation be always with you.

   Repeat this assertion several times a day, especially before going to bed or after you wake up.

5. Use seminars, books, audio- and videotapes, which are devoted to the improvement of self-esteem.

   
   Any information, which you let into your mind, leaves there its roots and influences your behavior.

   Dominating information influences your actions in a dominant way.

   If you watch negative TV-shows or read criminal chronicles in the newspapers, your mood is likely to be set in a cynical and pessimistic way.

   However, if you read books or listen to the programs, which have positive nature and are able to improve self-esteem, you are sure to acquire new qualities from them.

6. Communicate with positive and confident people, who are ready to support you.

   When you are surrounded by negative people, who are constantly repressing you and your ideas, your self-esteem also gets lower.

   On the other hand, when you are praised and rewarded, you feel better and self-esteem of your personality gets higher.

7. In order to improve self-esteem, make up a list of former achievements.

   It must not necessarily consist of something monumental.

   A list may include small victories, for example: you’ve learned how to snowboard, received a driver’s license, started to go to the gym regularly, etc.

   Look through this list regularly.

   While reading about your achievements, try to close your eyes and feel again the satisfaction and joy, which you experienced then.

8. Create a list of your positive traits.

   Be favorable to yourself and write down at least 20 positive traits you have.

   Just like with the previously mentioned list, it’s important to reread it from time to time.

   This list is even more important.

   Many people concentrate on their drawbacks, supporting their understated self-esteem by it, and then wonder why their lives are not that great as they want it to be.

   Start focusing on your merits and you’ll get much more chances to achieve what you actually want.

9. Try to do the things you like.

   
   It’s difficult to experience positive things towards yourself, if your days are spent on the work, which you despise.

   Self-esteem thrives when you do the work or any other activity, which brings you pleasure and provides with an opportunity to feel more valuable.

   Even if your work mostly suits you, you can devote your free time to some hobbies, which bring you joy and happiness.

   Start thinking positively!

10. Start giving others more, so that you improved your self-esteem.

    Here we may speak about self-dedication, which is expressed by actions that are sure to help others or encourage them.

    When you do something for the sake of somebody else, you start feeling as a more worth individual and you improve both self-esteem and mood.

11. In order to improve self-esteem, be true to yourself.

    Live your own life.

    You’ll never respect yourself, if you spend your life not how you want.

    If you make decisions based on the approval of your friends and relatives, you will not be true to yourself and, as a result, you’ll have understated self-esteem.

12. Finally, take actions!

    You will never develop high self-esteem, if you sit on one place and do not accept the challenges in front of you.

    When you take actions, regardless of the result you’ll get, the feeling of self-respect grows and you experience better feelings towards yourself.

    However, when you are slow with actions because of the fear or any other anxiety, you feel only disappointment and sad feelings, which are sure to lead to the decrease of self-esteem.

You are a unique personality with plenty of options and possibilities and huge potential.

As soon as you start realizing how to improve self-esteem, it will grow and your real abilities will show themselves.

You will start risking and will not be afraid of being refused; you won’t be concentrated on the approval of other people; your relationships will become more useful to you and others; you will do things, which bring only happiness and satisfaction.

What’s more important, high self-esteem will bring you spiritual peace and you will actually and truly value yourself.