How to manipulate people: 11 techniques
Do you want to know how to manipulate people? Read popular techniques of manipulation here.
After receiving numerous requests from my readers, I decided to write about a very delicate topic – «How to manipulate people?»
At first, I’d like to warn you that I’m not trying to teach you the skills of manipulation, no way!
Obviously, I hope that you’ll never encounter with a manipulator and won’t have to deal with his/her manipulative techniques. However, nowadays these people are everywhere, and I want you to learn to prevent the negative influence of a manipulator.
There are many ways to recognize manipulators around you. Maybe, you’ve even fallen victim to their manipulative behavior already, but didn’t know about the ways to deal with it. Today I’m going to explain you main principles of revealing a manipulative person.
My primary goal is to teach my readers to recognize manipulators at first glance, protect themselves from negative influence of such people and deal with their manipulative provocations!
However, I realized that in order to identify manipulators, I needed to try out some techniques of manipulation myself!
Hopefully, everyone knows the following saying: “These who cannot lie, cannot discern liers!” The same concerns manipulating other people and revealing manipulators in real life.
My goals here are quite noble: I want to teach you to identify and neutralize manipulators on real life examples. Besides, we’ll discuss several methods of dealing with manipulative techniques.
Moreover, I think that every person should learn to manipulate others and grasp all nuances of this behavioral principle. One cannot survive without such skills in modern world, especially if we are talking about manipulation business sphere! Manipulative behavior can be found everywhere around nowadays, thus I want to teach you to deal with manipulative people!
Manipulation is a special technique with the help of which one is able to influence others. It has the following outcomes: an object of manipulation changes his/her opinion or way of behavior, or even fulfills the orders of manipulator and suffers from numerous manipulative methods of influence.
11 ways to manipulate people
How to manipulate people. Tip # 1: Manipulation through love
There exist 3 love schemes:
- One person loves, and another one does not;
- Two people love each other;
- Two people do not love each other.
Actually, the first scheme is very effective and it is very popular nowadays! It’s been widely used by manipulators everywhere!
A manipulator in the 1st scheme is the one who is being influenced upon! Actually, an individual in love realizes that he/she is being manipulated upon, but cannot do anything about it because his/her feelings seem more important!
The 2nd scheme of manipulation is the following: “Do you really love me? Then go there and do that!” I guess, such type of manipulation should not even be reviewed and discussed, it’s quite obvious.
The 3rd scheme somehow resembles the 1st one. In this case manipulative people act quite organized, and you may have difficulties dealing with them.
First of all, a manipulator sets a goal: e.g, meet an old millionaire, marry him, and then start acting according to the 1st scheme. Such strategy is typical for girls who attend night clubs in order to hunt for rich men. 😉
How to manipulate people. Tip # 2: Manipulation through sympathy
«The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.»
Philip K. Dick
If you want to deal with manipulative people, you have to keep in mind that losers like being sympathized.
When we feel pity towards a loser, we are able to twist him/her around our little finger! Always be careful with people who feel sorry for you. Obviously, it doesn’t refer to all people in the world, but you have to be aware! Usually manipulators choose weak people and then practice their manipulative behavior on them. In order to deal with a manipulator you have to keep calm and firm.
Imagine such conversation with your colleague: “What have you done? Ok, you shouldn’t worry so much! Everybody is sinful, and we all error sometimes! Nobody is perfect, remember it! Come here, I’ll give you a hug!” When you say these words to your colleague, you win his/her respect and trust, thus, it will help you to make him/her do whatever you want! To some extent, you yourself become a manipulator!
How to manipulate people. Tip # 3: Manipulation through lies.
This type of manipulation is, probably, the most popular one.
Is it possible to make somebody believe in something? Well, there is no need to invent extraordinary ways to deal with manipulative people when you may simply lie to others.
Example: “Mom, somebody stole 100 dollars which you had given to me in the morning”. What do you think a mother will do in such case? Of course, she is going to give her beloved child more money, and thus, the child deceived mother by lying.
How to manipulate people. Tip # 4: Frequent repetition
Such method of manipulation is also very popular nowadays.
Probably, everybody knows the following saying: “Keep calling somebody a pig, and one day he’ll grunt!”
What about our favorite Zombie-set (TV-set)? This device has a great power of manipulation! Have you seen the following ad: “Buy your cell phone at “Hello” – get the best you’ll ever know!” It’s been shown thousand times per day, and what is the result? One day your cell phone breaks and you have to buy a new one. You start wandering from one store to another in search of a new phone when you finally remember that only “Hello” sells the best and the most reliable cell phones ever! It may sound silly, but this ad has actually affected you! Real professionals know the principles of being good manipulators, thus you should learn to avoid their manipulative influence.
Or we may go through another example: “Study well at school in order to enter the university, study thoroughly at the institute in order to get a highly-paid job, and then you’ll be happy for the rest of your life because you’ll have a job!” It vividly illustrates the way used by most parents in our country in order to deal with their children through manipulation. It is considered to be normal, but because of such norms most families are called average. Haven’t I told you about negative effect of manipulative behavior?
Such attitude leads to inability of children to act on their own, because they are afraid of their parents’ disapproval.
Keep in mind: 10 tips, how to believe in yourself
How to manipulate people. Tip # 5: Manipulation through care
This is another nuance which you need to know in order to deal with a manipulative person. Is there anybody who has not encountered with a following situation?
“I’ve washed the dishes and vacuumed the carpets to please my wife. Let my beloved have a rest, it’s her weekend, and she truly deserves it! Then I’ll hug my wife, kiss her and whisper on the ear: “Honey, I’d like to go to the sauna with my colleagues and relax a bit, because I’m so tired after today’s hard work!”
Keep in mind that if somebody takes too much care after you for no evident reason, something is wrong! It looks like somebody tries to manipulate you!
You may also notice a bunch of billboards all over the city with such words: “We are the most reliable company ever! We care about you, you’re our number one!” However, if you read between the lines, you may see the following: “Buy, our dear clients, buy more! Don’t let our efforts and money for this ad to be spent in vain!” Try to ignore such advertisements if you don’t want to fall victim to well-planned provocations of manipulators.
How to manipulate people. Tip # 6: Manipulation through seduction and temptation
I’m guess, everybody has been seduced at least once in a lifetime, am I right? Even if we know that we’re being manipulated upon, we cannot resist the influence of a manipulator.
Let’s review such example:
You’ve set a goal to clean your kitchen as soon as you’ll get home from work. And then your working day is over, you return home thinking only about your kitchen… and suddenly your manipulative friend calls and says: “Hello, dear, would you like to go the restaurant and have a glass of wine? I have so much to tell you!” At first you are trying to get out of the invitation: “I’m so sorry, Lena, but I have so much work to do! Besides, I’d like to go to bed earlier; I haven’t had a good sleep in a while already…” And then everything collapses, because your friend says smiling: “Come on, it’s my treat! By the way, I’ve already booked a table at the restaurant, so I’ll come for you in 10 minutes! Get ready quickly!”
Have you ever fallen victim to such trick? It is exactly what I’m talking about! After such conversation with your friend you’ll decide that your kitchen may wait for a week or two, and your sleep… well, you’ll be able to catch up on it when you retire! You aren’t able to resist the request of manipulator, thus you’re becoming a victim of manipulative behavior.
Besides, people are highly affected by such 101% effective slogans and attractive offers of manipulators: “Only today you can get 60% off! Only here! Don’t waste your chance!”
In order to deal with manipulative people and avoid their bad influence, try to have a firm answer to all their requests or reproaches.
How to manipulate people. Tip # 7: Manipulation through blackmailing
It is another method of manipulating people, and it’s used very frequently!
Here’s a simple example which illustrates the method of blackmailing children by their parents:
“You won’t receive your candy until you finish your breakfast!” Do you recognize such situation? Have your parents manipulated you by these words? Have you figured out the way to deal with such manipulative attitude?
I know another silly example, which is very frequently used.
A girl tells her boyfriend: “Well, when you buy me a diamond ring, I’m going to be yours. Until then you cannot even dream about me!”
How to manipulate people. Tip # 8: Manipulation through irritation and hysterics
Such principle is one of the most complicated ways to manipulate people; however, you should get acquainted with it if you want to deal with manipulators.
It consists in the intention of shattering a person’s composure. Obviously, an angry person has difficulties controlling his/her emotions and may say anything without giving it enough thought.
Keep in mind: the more somebody tries to quieten you after a conflict, the more vulnerable to manipulation you become.
The scheme is very simple: you drive a person crazy, and when he/she reaches a peak of irritation, you stop. Then you should start soothing your interlocutor. As soon as he/she feels OK again, you should start offering your own decision of the problem. In most cases given method is extremely effective! In order to deal with manipulative people, you have to foresee their next actions and try to prevent their manipulative provocations.
How to manipulate people. Tip # 9: Manipulation through flattery
It works greatly with people who have a high self-esteem. However, there is also one disadvantage about the method – it can be easily recognized!
How to manipulate people. Tip # 10: Manipulation through a person’s fears
The aim of the method of manipulating people is to find your victim’s fear and start using it for your own benefit. A person who is afraid of something cannot control his/her emotions well, and thus becomes too overwhelmed by his/her emotions and falls victim to manipulators.
Let’s review a real life example from business sphere:
We can persuade somebody that he/she will soon become a bankrupt, and thus should invest all money into somebody else’s developing business!
How to manipulate people. Tip # 11: Manipulation through the feeling of guilt
It is a principle which is frequently used by manipulative parents towards their children. As you know, parents are actually great manipulators!
For example, if a child does something bad, parents make their son or daughter stand in the corner. Doing this, they hope to avoid the repetition of the conflict, because their child will be ashamed of standing in the corner when everybody is watching.
The best object for manipulation is a person who feels ashamed of something, keep it in mind! The knowledge of that fact will help you to deal with a manipulative person.
How to deal with manipulative people: 6 methods
Every day we encounter with different manipulators, and it doesn’t really matter whether these manipulators are represented by the advertisements on TV, our boss or even by the member of our own family. On the contrary, very few of us know the ways to deal with manipulative people and foresee their next provocations.
How to deal with manipulative people. Method # 1: “A broken record”
Who can use it?
Everybody who is aware of his/her own weakness and can easily fall victim to manipulator if he/she dares to start an extended conversation with a manipulative person. Then the manipulator won’t have difficulties finding your weak sides and get the best use of them. “A broken record” method will turn you into an invulnerable robot whose decision is firm and cannot be changed. If you follow this technique, you’ll confuse a manipulator right away.
What to do?
When you recognize a manipulative person, you have to use only one phrase, and you should repeat it clearly for several times without changing its content. Besides, you should also keep the same friendly intonation and calm facial expression. It is a very important factor: whenever you expose your weakness or lose confidence, your interlocutor is going to carry the day. Thus, you have to do your best and hide your weakness from a manipulator.
Example:
“Masha, tomorrow we are going to the countryside, we need to trim our garden”. — “Mom, I’m sorry but I have important plans for tomorrow and I won’t be able to go with you”. — “What kind of plans? I’m not going to lug heavy loads on my own!” — “Mom, I’m sorry but I have important plans for tomorrow and I won’t be able to go with you”. — “Stop harping on the same tune! Don’t you have any mercy on your mother? I don’t want to hear anything about your plans!” — “Mom, I’m sorry but I have important plans for tomorrow and I won’t be able to go with you”. Sooner or later your conversation will come to a logic end. Usually manipulators give up when their manipulative methods of influence fail. Obviously, your mom may feel offended, but you’ll get rid of the necessity to lug heavy loads and visit your countryside cottage. Thus, you’ll avoid the influence of the manipulator and prevent his/her manipulative behavior.
Useful to know: How to train your brain?
How to deal with manipulative people. Method # 2: “True feelings”
Who can use it?
People, who are ready to warn the manipulator that they have foreseen all their provocations, and don’t plan on giving up. Manipulators rarely express their true feelings, and it can be easily noticed if you take a closer look at the body of a manipulative person. Usually such people’s gestures and movements are uncoordinated; e.g., a manipulator may smile with fists clenched together.
What to do?
When a manipulator tries to have his/her way, honestly express your feelings. You may say “I don’t believe you” or address to other people around you in order to reveal a manipulator and prevent him/her from using manipulative techniques.
Example:
“Katya, I don’t have a slightest clue what this document is about. Will you help me to translate it? Everybody knows about your great language skills!” — “Nina, I don’t believe that you don’t understand this text. You’ve got perfect knowledge of English!” — “But Katya, I’m not feeling well today, I cannot understand a word!” — “Girls, I think Nina wants me to do all the work instead of her! No way, you cannot make a fool of me!” Revealing a manipulator to your colleagues you’ll teach them to deal with manipulative behavior.
How to deal with manipulative people. Method # 3: “Walking through the mist”
Who can use it?
Everybody, who has to work, live or communicate with manipulative people, and to deal with their critical attitude.
What to do?
When somebody is trying to criticize you, don’t try to argue with this person, otherwise you may be covered with the avalanche of his/her reproaches. Try to agree with words of manipulative people, but only with those statements which you consider to be true. And only afterwards you may explain your own opinion to the manipulator.
Example:
“You come home late every single night! Yesterday we wanted to have dinner together with you, but couldn’t wait till you return home. Then we planned to host a party, but you weren’t there either! When we started to rent this apartment, we were thinking about a more friendly and hospitable neighbor!” — “Well, yes, I didn’t come in time for dinner or party. Moreover, tomorrow I’ll be late again; I have a date, so I’d recommend you to start dinner without me”.
How to deal with manipulative people. Method # 4: “Look at this bird flying by!”
Who can use it?
People who can easily deal with manipulators and even enjoy playing the so-called game named “try to manipulate the manipulator”. However, in this case your goal is not to become a manipulative person yourself, but to protect yourself and other people from such provocations.
What to do?
If a manipulator demands something from you, pretend that you don’t have a clue what he/she is talking about. You can use the following response: “I don’t understand what you mean. Can you explain one more time?” Those manipulators, who have certain problems with logic, usually give up immediately when asked to repeat their demand or reproach. If you don’t want to continue the conversation, you’d better end it right away – it’s the simplest way to deal with a manipulative person.
Example:
“Yulya, I’ve been trying to reach you over the phone for six times today! You won’t believe me; I’ve just spoken with him! You won’t guess how he has talked to me! His attitude is disgusting!” — “Well, honey, your beloved is surely not easy to deal with! As for me, I’ve just bought myself a new skirt! It’s so cute, it has ruffles and it’s crimson!” — “You won’t guess, what he told me! He said that he cannot stand me anymore!” — “And I found a matching belt as well. It’s a very nice thin belt of light-pink color! What shoes would you recommend me to wear with it?”
How to deal with manipulative people. Method # 5: “Stop-go”
Who can use it?
Everybody, who is able to recognize manipulators, but doesn’t know how to deal with them. If we try to find a similar type of behavior in real nature, we’ll see that animals also use the position of standing still when they see a bigger opponent.
What to do?
If it is possible, try to avoid communicating with a manipulative person. If you aren’t able to do that, just ignore such people.
Example:
“Oh, aren’t you the sweetest thing in this office? My name is Alexander; I’m your new colleague. We have a tradition that all new girls at our office make me coffee. Come on; make me a cup of coffee, quickly!” No reaction. “Are you out of your mind? Make me a cup of coffee, please!” No reaction. “Well, then, can I at least get to know what are you doing right now?” — “I’m preparing important documents at the moment; I’ll give them to you in ten minutes”. — “And what about coffee?” No reaction. Obviously, the manipulator will not get the message immediately, but he’ll surely start making coffee himself. Thus, you won’t have to deal with his/her manipulative attitude anymore.
How to deal with manipulative people. Method # 6: “You will be okay”
Who can use it?
Kind-hearted but strong people, who won’t allow anybody to manipulate them and will try to protect everybody else from such provocations as well.
What to do?
You should convince a manipulative person that you want him/her to feel comfortable and properly treated, but you won’t allow him/her to make use of your hospitable attitude.
Example:
“Oh, God, what a trouble I got myself into! I have to clear up a whole bookcase, full of documents! I don’t have a clue where to start and the way to deal with it!” — “I’m very sorry for you, but I think that after you have some rest, you’ll manage to fulfill this task. Let’s go, I’ll make you a cup of tea”.
Keep in mind: manipulators can be found practically everywhere, thus you have to do your best in order to reveal a manipulative person and deal with his/her provocations.
When you are able to prevent manipulative behavior, you’ll never fall victim to these dishonest people.
Hopefully, you’ll make use of all recommendations above and learn to recognize a manipulative person, deal with his/her attitude and prevent possible provocations from manipulators! Good luck with it!
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