Ways to Cope With Loneliness

We are all familiar with the feeling of complete loneliness which attacks us from time to time. In such moments one seems to be the only person in the world.

Nobody understands us; no one tries to support or help.

Sometimes this feeling is so overwhelming and huge that it deeply involves and paralyzes us and gives no opportunity to live.

Feeling of loneliness can show up in everybody differently and people cope with it in their own way.

For someone it’s as terrible as childish fears.

Some people can easily ignore it concentrating on studies, work or other activities. Some people try to avoid this feeling and turn to the alcohol, drugs, food or one-time sex.

Others fall in the abyss of pity and fear and cannot leave the house,  it’s a way of locking themselves within the four walls.

Luckily, these unpleasant feelings can (and must) be coped with! We suggest you some ways to cope with loneliness which bring no harm and may be put into life on your own.

Why loneliness is dangerous?

1. It’s a huge risk for your health.

   The results of the Chicago University’s research prove loneliness to be harmful for human health just as well as alcohol, smoking or overeating.

   Scientists believe that isolation from the society is equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

   Moreover, people suffering from loneliness are easily subject to diseases of nervous system, cardiovascular diseases and other psychosomatic problems (diseases from nerves).

2. Loneliness is “infectious”.

   When a lonely person says how lonely and miserable he feels, people who hear it all may experience the same feelings towards themselves.

   On the other hand, a person, who is lonely, alienates from others, too.

   People from his former surroundings become lonely by-turn, because this way they lose an interlocutor and a friend.

3. Develops distrust to others.

   As a rule, lonely people become those, who have lost an emotionally valuable and close person: e.g. after infidelity of the beloved man.

   Separating from the whole world after such stress is actually normal way to cope with a situation, but one shouldn’t be carried away by reclusion.

4. Loneliness is imperceptible for the surrounding people.

   Loneliness’s peculiarity is that relatives and close people sometimes cannot help you to cope with loneliness.Valuable time is wasted and psychological disease is progressing.

6 ways to cope with loneliness

1. Get rid of distorted perception of yourself and others.

   Many lonely people have wrong views both about themselves and others.

   The more they blame and dig in themselves, the lower becomes self-esteem and it’s more difficult to find a way to communicate with people.

   The more they think up the enemies in their heads, the higher is the wall between them and the society.

   Not without reason people say “If you want to change the situation, start with yourself”.

2. Open to the world.

   It’s peculiar for humans to defend themselves.

   A person may suffer from loneliness inside, but look tough and cheerless outside.How can people possibly understand that you need communication?

   No matter how difficult it is, you should learn to smile sincerely to the world, to say hello to the neighbours, to find new friends in all hands, trips and journeys, among mothers (just like you) playing with children on the playground.

3. Restore the old ties.

   We often feel pity and complain on the loneliness, but forget about relatives we saw long ago, don’t care about grandparents who need our help so much.

   Why should one seek new friends, if there are so many old ones?

   Maybe, you should find your old notebook and connect with them?

4. Help those, who feel worse than you.

   
   There are definitely some people in your surroundings that feel worse than you.For example, your sister may have recently born a baby and find it difficult to cope with it.

   Help her and she is sure to value it.

   Or another way – a neighboring granny has broken her arm and now isn’t able to go shopping or clean the house.

   Or is there an orphanage nearby and their tenants miss communication with the adults? Announce a collection of toys to your friends and pay a visit to children.

   Nota bene! People involved in charity, pedagogic and medicine are supposed to suffer from loneliness least of all.

5. Learn to communicate “simply because”.

   Imagine how pleased you’ll be if someone asked about your mood without a special reason.

   There are such people.

   They are called the life and soul of the party because they win people’s favour.The can ask “How are you?”, talk about themselves, tell you a funny story, which happened to him in a shop, or just an anecdote.

   Few minutes in his company and you are at ease and realize that an interlocutor doesn’t demand anything in return, doesn’t impose something on you or teach you and doesn’t use you as a jacket.

   This way he simply communicates, enjoys it and shares his energy.

   You should probably do the same, shouldn’t you?

6. Hobby and work.

   There is no need to attend special courses in psychology to cope with loneliness.

   If you find a way to spend time on things you like with all your heart, e.g. attend a handmade club, fitness center, think up the way to become a member of a mayor brigade or become a volunteer, you are sure to find a good company.

   There is nothing better than having friends with the same views and tastes.

How to Combat Laziness?

Mistakes in coping with loneliness

1. “Overeating” loneliness.

   Everybody knows that while eating sweets the organism begins to produce the hormone of happiness.

   A lover left you – overeat chocolate; can’t meet a prince good enough – buy a cake; children are adults and move to another city – overeat plenty of fat smoked foods.Many people eventually turn this way in a real addiction.

   As a result, such “hobby” doesn’t solve the problem and, on the contrary, makes it worse.

   This way excess weight is stored, problems with digestion begin and a load on the cardiovascular system increases.

   A person becomes even more obsessed with himself, his appearance, health and he has no time to save the social harmony.

2. An analog of “overeating” is the usage of harmful stimulators of happiness – alcohol and drugs.

   Getting to know what stimulators are like is the teenagers’ lot. However, drug addicts become people, who are really rubbed at the edges.

   If the younger generation drinks because of lack of understanding by the adults, the older generation does it because they are not satisfied with themselves, their lifestyle and all the round.

   “I have no one to talk to; nobody gives me a chance to speak!” – they say.

   How to overcome insecurity?

   Surely, alcohol and drugs make you “fly” for some time and brings you delusional happiness.

If time passes but loneliness never leaves you, devote yourself to the career. The busier you are, the less time you have to feel sorry for yourself.

Professional activity connected with live human communication is the most recommended way to cope with loneliness. Who knows, maybe among colleagues you’ll find true friends and even your second half.