Overcoming insecurity: 5 recipes how to overcome it

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Do you know who our biggest enemy on our way to success is?

Insecurity and disbelief in our own abilities!

Fear is quite a natural feeling, experienced by all people.

For example, if we decided to start our own business, change our profession, get married, obviously, we would start doubting whether we should make these important decisions.

We start considering all pros and cons of the situation; however these doubts sometimes become factors that prevent us from making the right decision.

Doubts about making the decision and analysis of the situation are OK, but insecurity is not!

Today we will learn how to fight this evil feeling!

Why cannot my friend overcome insecurity?

Oksana is one of my schoolmates. I admire her kind-heartedness and willingness to help, but sometimes she drives me crazy with her constant doubts about everything! Her insecurity interferes with her happiness even in very simple situations.

For example, I love shopping, but going shopping with Oksana is a real torture for me! I waste a lot of time and efforts, persuading her to buy something.

Sometimes my monologues can last for half an hour, or even more, but my friend continues doubting.

Undoubtedly, really serious issues help her feeling of insecurity increase to unbelievable size.

For example, she didn’t become a journalist, though she really liked this profession, just because she constantly doubted whether she should transfer to journalism department or to continue studying philology.

She didn’t get a well-paid job at a travel agency because she doubted whether she would manage to re-train for a tourist guide from a museum worker.

She lost a wonderful guy, who was head over heels in love with her, just because she doubted whether she should accept his marriage proposal or not (though he hadn’t insisted on getting married straight away).

Quite a story, huh…?

I tried to help her, using all possible methods. I gave her advice, recommended her proper books for reading, even invited her to a training, called “How to overcome insecurity?”, but nothing seemed to help.

The situation changed after the alumni meeting. We discovered that one of our classmates, named Anya, who had never been extremely smart or beautiful and studied not very well, worked as a shop director, travelled all around the world and married the assistant of the deputy of Verkhovna Rada (Supreme Soviet).

5 fantastic tips how to become self-confident

Oksana was both surprised and depressed by this news, and I had to explain to her that Anya became so successful because she managed to overcome insecurity and believe in her future success.

5 delicious recipes how to overcome insecurity

“You remember the old Roadrunner cartoons, where the coyote would run off a cliff and keep going, until he looked down and happened to notice that he was running on nothing more than air?»

«Yeah.»

«Well,» he said, «I always used to wonder what would have happened if he’d never looked down. Would the air have stayed solid under his feet until he reached the other side? I think we’re all like that. We start heading out across this canyon, looking straight ahead at the thing that matters, but something, some fear or insecurity, makes us look down. And we see we’re walking on air, and we panic, and turn around and scramble like hell to get back to solid ground. And if we just wouldn’t look down, we could make it to the other side. The place where things matter.”

Jonathan Tropper, The Book of Joe

There are different types of insecurity.

Some people doubt their physical attraction, some people doubt whether they deserve to be happy, others are afraid to accept the promotion or to change their profession, doubting their ability to cope with it successfully.

You can overcome insecurity, doing simple exercises. You have to keep doing them for one or two months, or until you eventually get rid of this nasty feeling.

Here are the exercises:

1. I’m the most beautiful woman/handsome man in the whole world!

   Forget such phrases, as “I’m ugly”, “I’m fat”, “I’m awful” etc.

   First of all, such attitude is not fair towards people who really have some physical defects.

   Try and recollect a parable about a man who had been always complaining about the absence of new boots, until he saw a man without legs.

   Secondly, make a habit of getting up in the morning, looking into the mirror and paying yourself at least three compliments.

   Thirdly, if you really have some defects, they can be easily amended by gym membership, cosmetologist, makeup and clothes stylists, hairdresser etc.

   All these people help their clients to improve their look.

2. I’m not afraid of making mistakes!

   Some commonplace phrases might have become annoying, but they haven’t lost their sense.

   “He is lifeless who is faultless” is one of them.

   People, who try to reach the top, always make mistakes, overcome difficulties and suffer from failures. It’s normal.

   Why should you become an exception out of this rule?

   Start reviewing life stories of famous people, and you will see how many mistakes they made before they became popular and successful!

3. I deserve to be happy!

   
   If you are a girl, you love (or once loved) books and movies about love.

   Do you remember how many difficulties the loving couple had to overcome on their way to happiness?

   Every marriage presupposes hard work, but you can make it more pleasant!

   Are you ready to lose your beloved because of stupid feeling of insecurity?

   Watch movies about world-famous love stories (they don’t necessarily have to be real), read fiction (hopefully, I don’t have to remind you that paperbacks with the blue-eyed blonds on the cover do not belong to this category!).

   Besides, I recommend you to read this article, if you want to learn 7 tips how to become happy!

4. I’ll manage everything!

   Your boss, whom you admire, has also started with a low-rank position.

   If he had doubted his abilities, he would have never got a promotion, and continued working as a courier.

   However, he took a risk and succeeded!

   Try to keep a diary of your professional achievements at least for one month.

   And don’t be too modest!

5. Leave your comfort zone!

   Do you feel comfortable among your ex-colleagues, friends and relatives but suffer from the fear of unknown?

   Try to do something that is not typical for you at least once in 2-3 days, leave your comfort zone!

   Buy a gym membership, purchase a brightly-colored dress, go to the cinema on your own, surprise your boss with a rationalization proposal, get acquainted with a stranger on the street, help an old lady to cross the street, and so on, and so forth…

   This list can be continued.You will increase the effect of these actions if you keep a diary where you can write all your achievements and mistakes for further analysis.

Have you not understood how to overcome insecurity yet?

At least stop doubting the possible effect of these exercises. Just try to follow my advice, and you will see the result!

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