How to cope with loneliness: 5 tips

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Loneliness…

What a horrible hopelessness stands behind this word! A human is a social creature, and that’s why we cannot bear being alone.

Yes, I know about feminism, child-free people and other popular tendencies, which state that a self-sufficient person can live happily without love, friends, children, and so on.

As for me, I’m totally against such extremes!

If you cannot bear being alone and always long for somebody else’s company, it’s definitely not good.

On the other hand, if you suffer difficulties while communicating with other people or cannot stand sharing a room with somebody, this situation cannot be considered normal either. You have to find a compromise.

The topic of social adaptation will be discussed in another article, right now I’d like to share some recommendations how to overcome loneliness!

“I don’t need to cope with loneliness!”

I’ve graduated from the department where 80% of teaching staff was comprised of women, and most of them were single.

When I looked at some of these professors, I understood why they had neither husbands nor friends, but at the same time, single status of other women made me totally confused.

They were smart, beautiful, successful, lively and non-bitchy… What else do the men need?

Indeed, nowadays we can witness the following paradox: loneliness is usually an issue of worthless men and successful women.

I think that there is no need to discuss the first case, but I’d like us to review the second case more thoroughly.

At first such ladies studied hard, then longed for a stable job or tried to defend a thesis.

Thus, they didn’t even have spare time for dating.

Then, having accomplished so much in their lives, they just couldn’t look at men with 9 classes of secondary education and dirty nails anymore.

What else was left for them? Being lonely? No! You can always overcome loneliness if you make some efforts for this.

Sign of true love from a man

If you meet a person who says that he/she is okay having neither spouse nor friends, you should keep in mind that this person is either lying to you, or has serious psychological problems.

And I’m not joking!

My second cousin works under the guidance of the retired boss.

Her boss got divorced with her husband after three years of marriage, brought up her son on her own, never remarried, and, moreover, she never even had any serious relationships anymore.

She was involved only in several affairs for business purposes, and my cousin’s elder colleagues enjoyed discussing the details of these affairs. Her son grew up and moved to another city, besides that, she couldn’t get along with her daughter-in-law, and thus saw her grandchildren only during holidays. Her only companions and roommates were her cats.

But what is the strangest thing in the whole story, is the attitude of this woman towards her married colleagues. She truly hates all of them and likes to repeat: “Oh, as for me, I wouldn’t be able to get on with anybody!”

Do you still think that this woman doesn’t have any psychological problems? However, her lifestyle isn’t totally useless: girls that work with her are so scared to repeat her life story that get married one by one and treasure their families very much.

Interesting info: 10 Things Will Happen, when You Start to Enjoy Being Alone

Why is it so difficult to overcome loneliness?

All troubles and difficulties in life appear for some reason.

They are either the result of some of our actions, the decisions that we make (or don’t make) and of the way of our behavior.

Loneliness is not an exception.

The most common reasons that can explain why a person is ignored by other people are the following:

1. Excessive squeamishness.

   Of course, you don’t have to marry the first guy/girl on your way. However, you shouldn’t waste your life searching for disadvantages of your potential partner as well. Nobody is perfect, every person has some flaws.

   What you have to do, is to decide for yourself whether you are ready to bear these flaws of character and bad habits of your second half.

2. Selfishness and laziness.

   Every relationship presupposes constant hard work. Yes, you shouldn’t simply remain afloat and ignore all problems on your way; you should really work hard in order to maintain your relationships.

   If you want to have a strong and long-lasting friendship or marriage, you should learn how to be flexible and make concessions to each other.

   Remember, that sometimes you have to give up your own interests in the name of your beloved, because as soon as you get married, you stop being “I”, you’re becoming “WE”.

3. Excessive aggression, authoritativeness, hysterical nature, cruelty, tedium and other negative traits of character which you should eradicate not even for the sake of the others, but for the sake of yourself.

4. Untidy look.

   You can be a very interesting person, but keep in mind that nobody would like to date a woman with dirty hair and torn tights, or a man with beer belly and stinky breath.

   Remember, closes count for first impressions!

5. Excessive forcefulness.

   People who look too willing to overcome loneliness may seem scary.

   Imagine the following situation: you’ve been sluggishly courting your girlfriend for many years. What is to become of it?

   Probably, she’ll break up with you. However, you may encounter with the same outcome if you start planning your future wedding on the second date already. Keep within limits!

Keep in mind: Awesome recommendations how to become a happy person

5 tips, how to cope with loneliness

«If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.»
Maxwell Maltz

If specialists are asked a question: “How to overcome loneliness”, they usually answer: “With the help of communication!”

Indeed, if you have an interesting job and amiable colleagues, faithful friends, captivating hobbies and nice relationships with your family, then you will not grieve too much about not having a beloved person.

Also, you can avoid suffering from loneliness if you follow such recommendations:

1. Don’t be obsessed with the thoughts of being lonely.

   Think of this break in your personal life as of temporary difficulties, which will come to the end soon.

2. Don’t become embittered.

   You will not become happier by hating your friend who is more successful in personal life.

   The hatred that devours you will sooner or later become evident and scare away all men on your way.

   You’d better be happy for your friend and program yourself for repeating her success! 😉

3. Love your life and live it to the fullest!

   Attend exhibitions, go to the cinemas and theatres, or work as a volunteer for some charitable organization.

   Believe me: many married people will envy you for having spare time, so use it for self-development and personal growth!

   Besides, visiting such places will give you the chance to meet your other half!

4. Internet is more than a social network!

   The Internet offers many opportunities for communication, which can once transfer from virtual world into real life! However, avoid becoming an Internet addict!

5. Find somebody who needs your love.

   There is no need to panic if you cannot find your soulmate right now.

   Share your love and care with children, animals, or elder people who really need it.

   Adopt a kitten or a puppy, and you’ll never be alone again. Besides, you can become a single mother and raise a kid without a husband (but keep in mind that this variant should be considered in the last turn).

It is very easy to cope with loneliness, just don’t be swamped in it, don’t avoid communication with the outer world and never feel sorry for yourself!