How to trust your husband, what to do for it and how to forgive him his treason? We’ll be glad to help you!
The trust is the basic of happy family relationship. Namely to that conclusion come not only psychologists but all those who tied the knot.
But unfortunately the trust is a very fragile thing like a cut-glass vase: one careless movement and there are only shatters of it.
And then we run to a psychologist with loud statements “How to trust your husband?” or “How to start believe him again?” Or we just ask for advice on social networks.
Reasons Why You don’t Trust Your Husband
The trust is that indispensable component without which no normal human relationship can be possible.
If you don’t trust your partner you are waiting for some dirty trick from him all the time. It means that you are always in stress and nervous.
But it points to the fact that you took off your rose-coloured spectacles and are ready to face the problem.
You may distrust your husband for a score of reasons:
Poor experience of last relationship.
You had already been married and your alliance broke up because of your husband’s treason?
Or in 17 when you felt in love your chosen one “two-timed” you dating your friend too.
Anyway you have some negative experience of your last relationship which keeps you on hop up to now.
And your husband may be a pattern of faith and allegiance and your inner self can’t forget the past and be able to trust the present.
Forgiven but not forgot.
But also it may happen that your husband stumbled, humiliated and offended you. Or he performed some other deed that sank deep into your mind.
Time passed and you forgave your husband nevertheless.
But you can’t forget it.Stop “nagging” and demonizing your husband.
Try to lavish attentions, concern and understanding on him. You will see he’ll do the same for you.
It’s a very widespread phenomenon among married women especially in the period of the maternity leave.When you dedicate all the days to your child, washing, cooking and cleaning up and have no time left to yourself at all.
Meanwhile your shave clean husband smelling his new perfume and in clothes pressed on your own goes to the next corporate party or class reunion.
“Face in the trough”.
Don’t you refuse to flirt on social networks with your ex-classmate who beat you with the textbook when you were at school and now piles on the compliments to your address?
Or maybe you don’t refuse to drink a cup of coffee with your “ex” as you remained friends?
Maybe, it’s indeed just an innocent flirt and just a cup of coffee. Or maybe deep in your bones you hope for the continuance. Nothing but for ego boost.
More than likely you don’t exclude the variant that your husband is chatting in the same way nicely with your neighbor from the fourth floor or spending lunch in the company of his nice colleague.
And how can you trust your husband when you don’t trust yourself?
There are so many interesting series with passion and treasons on TV.And you start to “fit” this series on your life rooting out make-believe proofs of your husband’s infidelity.
If you have a lot of free time to “concoct” different treasons to your husband then find some occupation after your own heart.
And it doesn’t matter what it will be: dance classes, playing the violin, attending the gym or driving lessons.
The main thing is that you hadn’t time to watch unnecessary series that direct your thoughts out in left field. Besides that you’ll pass your time profitably.
How to Trust your Husband: What to Do?
You analyzed your relationship and realized that there are no objective reasons for your mistrust. Consequently to patch up your converse you need to return outspokenness and sincerity in it.
What to do for it?
To find and neutralize your own neuroses.
Problems with the trust are usually connected with distortion of personal enhancement.
These problems, in their turn, may appear because of a bad climate in parents’ family, gone father, emotional chill in relations with mother and so on.
It’s very hard to do on your own so that’s why we’d advice you to consult a psychologist.
It’s necessary to follow up the connection between the events of past years and your current problems.
Look like your mistrust weakens your relationship.
In general suspiciousness is a trait of mental health appealed to protect it from possible danger.But if you fight with an imaginary menace all the time it exhausts both you and your husband.
He doesn’t feel your concern, support and love.
He thinks you consider him weak and bad that’s why you are growing apart more and more. Your shortcomings are catching the eye more and more.
That’s why you should see and realize how bad it is to be too suspicious – then it will be easier to say goodbye to this feature.
Analyze your fears.
You may distrust your husband in different ways.For example, you deny that your husband may achieve solid success for a score of reasons.
In this case subconsciously you try to become better humiliating him. Think well why you need to do it and what’s the reason of this.
If we talk about the jealous follow up the chain from “I’m afraid that my husband will be unfaithful to me” to the sense standing behind these words.
What will be then? You will feel pain. Where does it come from? It’s from the sensation of treason.
What is treason? And so on.
Probably you’ll come to the point that it’s because of your self-depreciation and lack of self-trust.
Boost your self-esteem.
So the most jealous are usually the most underconfident people.
It’s connected with the fact that your suspiciousness as if tells you: “You are unworthy of something wonderful. There are a lot of people better than you everywhere and you are sure to be betrayed and deceived”.
In order to get rid of it try to notice the positive feed-back.
When people pay compliments to you, accept them serenely and believe them above all. Prick imaginable marks in your head when you do something well.
If some misfortune overtook you try to comprehend all the variety of reasons and not to beet yourself up.
Eliminate negative irrational sets.
Most probably you’ve been indoctrinated: “You shouldn’t trust people” since childhood. Or: “As far as you turn your back you’ll get the kick”.
Such ideas form your world perception and you just don’t see the things not coinciding with them. That’s why you should depolarize them.
Take one such set and try to validate it. Ask yourself whether it happens indeed in 100% of cases?
And when doesn’t it happen? Cite yourself a few examples of it from your life or, in general, from books.
Why does it happen like this? Maybe you should correct the set. But how? And so on – until it turn into something accountable and profiting.
Although any rigid boundary isn’t good.
Start to live a full life.
It’s very easy to run into suspiciousness when you don’t have your own interests at all.
You totally dissolve in your husband and when he tries to take a rest for a short time you start to be nervous.
There’s only one way – to disrupt the alliance. To do that you should learn to spend time without him: contrive a new hobby, subscribe to dance classes, chat with your friends.
There are a lot of variants: the main thing is that you need to be able to “come off” your husband and rejoice your autonomy sometimes.
How to Leave a Married Man?
How to Be Able to Trust Your Husband after a Treason?
“And what to do if I don’t trust my husband because once he was unfaithful to me?” – ask you. Yes, it’s a very difficult and dubious subject.
In this case it’s very uneasy to trust your man.
But it’s possible.
You need to come through all the pain and suffering connected with his treason, they will burn down the excessive jealous and anxiety.
Namely they attack you after the reconciliation and make to take revenge.
You should understand firmly why you decided to forgive him.
If the reason of it is love then you’ll be able to trust him again. The main thing is to desire it for real and understand that relations without trust are doomed.
And you don’t want to lose your husband, do you?
Don’t pay attention on what other people say – the relations of a couple shouldn’t be based on advices of others.
Remember if a man returned to you after his treason then he really appreciates you and want to be by your side.
Even in spite of a heavy load of guilt and responsibility connected with that.
Men don’t like it very much that’s why having returned after his treason they become quite different.
We described the means of “how to trust your husband” even after such an awful event like the treason, further the matter depends on you!
Take care of each other!
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