Answering the question “How to be a better spouse?” is pretty difficult though not impossible. Our useful hints will definitely help you make your marriage happier.
You got married and became a family man. All the words said to each other before getting married now actually mean something.
So, it’s high time you proved them by actions.
Discovering, how to be the better spouse is not an easy thing, but it’s quite possible. The main key is to act according to your conscience. Do as your hearts tells you and be guided by the love to your partner.
These steps are very simple, but when you treat them seriously, they will make your future happier.
Some general advice to become a better spouse
1. Treat each other with respect and understanding.
Your spouse is an independent separate personality that may not necessarily want the same things you do. There are no couples that have common notions and thoughts on every matter.
It’s better to learn how to deal with the cases where you disagree by finding some compromise.
2. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
The tokens of good communication and any relationships are honesty and openness.
3. Try not to be selfish.
Instead of wondering what you can do for yourself, try to find out what your spouse wants or what you can do for the sake of your marriage.
4. Support each other.
A spouse must always know that he or she can rely on you. If your partner is disappointed, try to think of something that can encourage her. Serve her breakfast in bed, do the feet massage or play her favourite film. Details matter most.
5. Be loyal and faithful.
It goes without saying but is worth reminding it. Infidelity is a kind of lie. If you have extramarital relations, think about your life and ask yourself why you are married in the first place.
6. Complete trust.
If you don’t trust your spouse, your life must be really sad. Learn how to trust your husband or wife the same way you want him to trust you.
7. Reach perfection together.
We came to this world to improve ourselves and become better people. Read, go in for sports, learn and discover something new and you will be proud of each other.
8. Never say anything bad about your spouse to friends or relatives.
When you get married, all your priorities must be focused on your partner but not your family or social class. Your complaints to friends or relatives will not make this situation better or solve the problem, but will make them consider your relations as a bad thing.
9. Don’t try to change your spouse.
Take him as he is and show that you are not going to change him just for your benefit. He can do much more if you let him be himself.
10. Accept changes.
Living together you’ll overcome some crisis starting with losing one’s job to the death of one’s parent. You may also feel financial difficulties or suddenly get rich and be at loss not knowing what to do.
Your marriage will be able to survive all changes if you are ready to stay flexible and maintain the dialog.
11. Admit that relations change after having a baby.
Having a baby often changes your relationships and they develop in the new direction.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that your life will get worse, though you’ll have to devote more time to your children instead. As soon as you realize that it will change your relationships, it’s better to start working on their development in some new aspects.
- Try to spend time with your kids together with your spouse but not in turns.
This will help you overcome this change.
- Find some new interesting activities that will engage the whole family.
This will help you and your husband raise your children.
- Strengthen your relationships by acting as a united front with the husband.
You must settle the way to bring up your children and make them disciplined. Make sure there are no “good cop” and “bad cop” in your family and when it’s time to control your children you don’t confront each other.
12. Put up with your mutual mistakes.
If you want others to listen to you, it is better you learn to accept your spouse’s mistakes and sincerely respect his apologies (at least when you can reach a compromise). Admit your own mistakes, too. Only this way you will grow as a couple.
13. Become best friends.
Work on the development of true intimacy and absolute acceptance. Enjoy your story and laugh at your own jokes. Share some interesting articles or just sit in a friendly silence. Even silence can mean a lot, when a marriage is based on true friendship.
14. Create common dreams.
Don’t forget about common dreams.
It may be a wish to go to the seaside or a journey abroad to mark your 20th anniversary. Remember them, talk about them and make some steps to achieve them.
If your dreams do not coincide and one is dreaming of something the other one don’t want, you’ll both be reaching your own purposes creating an abyss between you.
15. Mind your individuality.
Self-actualization is very important for every person and it can add a lot to your relations.
You’ll become a better spouse if you share your interests, experience and knowledge.
16. Deal with stress together.
Men and women cope with stress every day and all day long.
Try to do your best to help your second half manage stress in everyday life. This knack will definitely help your marriage. When one of you is suffering a chronic stress and the other one doesn’t know why, you are sure to face some serious problems.
17. Be romantic.
This may not be the first thought that crosses your mind in the morning but it’s essential for a happy marriage.
Don’t even dare to think that you can leave romance behind only if are already married. Go to a date about once a month.
This should remind you of a courtship period and make your heart palpitate.
It can be parachuting, a trip to a dolphinarium, cinema, etc.
18. Don’t forget about sex.
Lack of sexual affair and love can lead your spouse to irritation and quarrelsomeness. It can also result in absence of reciprocal feeling and even anger. Petting brings the feeling of intimacy and physical relaxation, which is essential to both of you.
19. Passionate kisses.
After a while you’ll start giving him smacking kisses instead of long French kisses.
Try at least once a day or every morning and evening kiss your spouse for at least six seconds even if you have no more time.
Every kiss must contain passion and desire.
Good pieces of advice on how to be a better spouse for men
Be a gentleman.
Most women find it appealing.
If your better half is one of them, be ready to become a knight.
Think over some manners of that gallant time:
- Give her a good-bye kiss and welcome her with a kiss, too.
- Don’t let her carry heavy things.
- Open the doors in front of her.
- Pay when you are going out.
This proves your love and expresses trust.
It also shows how much intimacy is important for you.
Emotions are extremely important for women.
Your openness will serve as a proof of your strong feelings towards your wife.
Express your love.
Tell her how much you love her and how special every day you spend together is. Do it not once a year but as often as possible.
This nice habit will bring warmth to your relations and reduce stress.
Accustom yourself to presenting your spouse with some small gifts without reasons. It’s such an enormous happiness for her!
Making an unexpected gift is like making a declaration of love.
Give her carte blanche.
Let your wife meet her friends, sometimes go out without you. Moreover, you’ll have some free time for yourself.
Work on relations with your mother-in-law and father-in-law.
There is nothing more important for your wife than relations with her parents.
You probably don’t meet them every day, but it’s likely your wife wishes you treat them as your own parents.
Do the chores your wife doesn’t like.
For example, if she hates washing the dishes, suggest washing all dishes for one week.
Minimize your laziness.
Women do not like it. Laziness may not necessarily look like watching football on Sundays.
Laziness is avoiding what you “must” or “want” to do. Carry out the trash, surprise her on weekly basis by cleaning the house, go in for sports. It makes a huge difference.
Never raise your voice, shout or lay hands on your wife.
She trusts you and believes that she will be safe and comfortable near you. Don’t go to pieces, control your tone and never hit or threaten your wife.
Eventually she may even sue you.
Look after your appearance.
Watch your hygiene and look nice both at home and outside.
It is obligatory that you correspond to your wife’s cleanliness. If you care what your spouse wears and how often she cleans her teeth, she probably cares about it, too. It is bound to be so.
How to Choose a Husband?
What every woman should do to become a better spouse?
Be clear about your feelings and needs.
Your husband can’t read thoughts. So, when you want something, just ask for it. If something is wrong, just tell him about it.
Avoid hints and don’t beat around the bush. Otherwise, nothing will ever happen.
If you want to express your feelings, it’s better to sound positive and listen to what your husband has to say, instead of accusing him.
Never criticize him.
Criticism can destroy your relationship.
If your dishes are always clean and intact, do not nag at your husband for the wrong way of loading a dishwasher. Let him do it as he likes.
When you constantly criticize him, soon he won’t listen to you at all. You’d better praise your spouse for his right actions more than argue about his wrongdoings.
This way he is sure to listen to you more and feel happier with you.
Look after yourself.
There are not so many men who enjoy watching his better half in a robe splashed with borsch and uncombed hair.
A woman must always look well-groomed and neat, regardless of being at home or in the street.
Become a better housewife.
Learn how to cook tasty dishes and remember the simple truth: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Make your home cosy and comfortable. Though men are incapable of keeping it neat and tidy, they value comfort rather high.
This much he’ll value his wife, who constantly does her best to be a better housewife.
Now, you’ve looked into all secrets and ways how to be the better spouse. Follow our recommendations and be happy in your marriage!
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