How to find your soulmate: best tips
To find a soulmate - take advice from a psychologist!
Today I want to share my thoughts and discuss a very interesting topic that is certainly important for many of us, and this is how to find your soulmate.
What should we pay attention at? Is it possible to recognize the feeling when it comes?
Editors of women’s magazines are never too bored to discuss this question again and again. Every day millions of girls meet in cafes or have small talks in their kitchens and give each other valuable advices on how and where to find a soulmate.
Every year Hollywood (and also Mexico and Brazil as well) produces hundreds of «soap operas», which show us how to find the partner of your dream.
However, despite this abundance of information, millions of men and women around the world still rest alone (Teddy bear doesn`t count) in their cold beds hoping to find the partner soon.
How to find your soulmate – revealing secrets
Let me tell you a secret — these people are dead wrong. Why? Here are the reasons:
- no chances to find your soulmate in a cabbage;
- impossible to buy a partner in the nearest supermarket;
- impracticable to look for him in a trash hole;
- and even the police are not able to find it!
Because you shouldn`t look for a right person, you just need to meet him and not to miss your happiness!
You can accidentally bump into your future spouse in the subway, calling him names and laughing at his bald head.
Or your soulmate can live next door all your life, you just need to look around and listen to yourself.
But how should we do it?
How are we to understand that Ivan, who is receding a bit, or Peter, a nerd in glasses, is the man you have been waiting for, your future spouse, the one you would like to spend your frosty years of life with?
Beauty is not the key to happiness…
It doesn`t sound too original, but please don’t make beauty your first priority.
For finding your soulmate it is important to pay more attention to personal qualities.
Regarding this, my mother always repeats a statement: «Handsome husband is someone else’s husband, it is okay for a man to look a little better than a monkey.
Why someone else’s?
Because a handsome man, as well as a beautiful woman, will always attract people.
A handsome husband will always be in the center of attention, and an attention means a temptation.
Do you want to wait for your street-walker until 2 p.m., and then be treated for syphilis or gonorrhea? …save yourselves from this!
How to find your soulmate – pay attention to his feelings, not to yours
“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.”
Dating with a boyfriend, always pay attention to his attitude to you. Of course, if you are head over heels in love, your brain may be in a blurred state. However, try to set your feelings aside and focus on the feelings of the partner.
Why is this necessary?
I will give you the example of one of my friends.
So, my friend, let’s call her Fekla, met a nice young man after studying for a year at a medical school.
After a couple of weeks the young man introduced Fekla to his parents and talked her head off about the wedding, children and his love for her.
Of course, the girlfriend was all ears and stuck on a young man even more.
And after a month or so he started to use my friend for his needs. He forbade Fekla to meet with all her friends, because they could recognize the villain in him; he began to control her every move, claiming it to be a either a concern or jealousy.
He borrowed money from her and never paid back. He spent nights at her house, because renting was expensive, etc.
Having a great love and concern for him, Fekla never asked him to pay the debt, and couldn`t say a word about splitting the rent or food money. And what is more, she did all his abstracts and term papers for him.
They passed the first two years in an imaginary state of love and understanding, but after that Fekla finally had enlightenment (sooner or later it has to happen). Then she suffered for another year and finally made up her mind to break up with her boyfriend.
Now, if she paid attention to how he treated her in the very beginning, she would not have had to suffer for so many years!
So think about it and be attentive to the one you love.
Feel like finding your soulmate? – practice tests
Love has to live through foul and fair.
And, taking into account that troubles may come after 1-2-3 years of dating or living together, do not refrain from checking out how your beloved one will behave in this situation.
Some people may find it disgusting, but I will tell the truth: I`ve come to this conclusion after three years of dating with a man who had seemed to be perfect.
So, we had been living together with my boyfriend for 3 years, I was happy and blind at the same time.
But suddenly our family urgently needed money within three days.
My parents went to a bank for a loan, prepared the papers, but couldn`t receive money earlier than in 7-10 days.
What did we have to do?
To wait for 7-10 days was impossible, so parents and I decided to borrow from friends for a week.
My boyfriend had his own company with an impressive income.
Of course, I went straight to him to borrow some money. I asked for it having explained that the family had a trouble. But the young man… simply refused, saying that I had to decide my problems on my own. But that’s not all.
A few days later he said that I had to lend him some money to buy a new fancy cell phone.
I wised up immediately, but I have long regretted that I had lost three years of my life with him.
And if I had checked the young man in the beginning of our relationships, I wouldn’t have to waste so much time.
If someone hasn`t understood the meaning of my story, I would say that a partner who hasn`t passed your checking can surprise you by running away and leaving you to deal with your own problems.
Even if these problems are mutual.
So if you are just starting a relationship, prepare a test for your partner. You can ask for money, pretend to be ill or ask to take your dog for a walk.
A normal person will never refuse. And if he refuses — let him go his own way.
By the way, that’s how a friend of mine tested the girl he liked (yes, men also do that!).
He “frankly” admitted that his company was ruined, and he owes his partners a very large amount of money. And at the end he asked the girl to help with the payment. She had not only helped with the payment of an imaginary loan, but became the wife of my friend.
If he is really your soulmate, he will set the world alight for you.
In this section I want to outline the characteristics of a perfect partner.
So, you’ve found your man, if:
- he makes his very best for you,
- he never yells at you for nothing,
- he cooks a chicken soup for you when you’re sick,
- he supports you when you have troubles,
- he runs to the pharmacy for you even being tired after work,
- he leaves everything for you and moves to another city,
- he doesn’t make complaints about windows or cooker being dirty, etc.
Yes, of course, perfect people do not exist.
All couples quarrel over simple questions like whose turn it is to take the rubbish out or who has to go to the shop to get some bread.
But you must agree that this is not the point. The main thing is mutual support, help and understanding.
If you love, you will leave no stone unturned to make your partner happy.
By the way, if you finally came to finding your soulmate, it is without doubt that he should think the way you do and support you in everything that happens in your life! And, what is more, he has to be a tower of strength for you.
And if you are not sure whether it is your soulmate, make small tests and watch the reaction. Because it is the only way you can find out who the person really is.
By the way, that is how my friend Fekla met her husband, a charmless and poor teacher of anatomy who wore glasses (let`s call him Gosha).
At first she was in the hospital, and he regularly visited her, then she borrowed money from him and asked for his help in fixing a fence. Gosha coped brilliantly with any of her problems.
And after the wedding Fekla changed Gosha`s glasses for lens, created a new image for him and led him to a job change.
And now seeing a successful person and an employee of a large healthcare organization you can never recognize the same charmless teacher of anatomy.
Keep in mind that you don`t need to look for your soulmate, you need to wait, and to be able to notice and not to overlook your happiness!
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