How to Develop Self-Confidence?

In my opinion, the main traits of character which prevent people from fulfilling their sacred dreams are the lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. These “lucky people” whom I truly sympathize usually possess both.

However, there is one good saying that can motivate such unconfident people — you should not cry before one is hurt.

Motivational tips will turn every single “rabbit” with many complexes and unreasonable fears into a self-confident “tiger”, which is ready to move the mountains for the achievement of its dreams. Obviously, you’ll have to make some effort for this as well.

I’ve started this article telling about different complexes, indecisiveness and other flaws of human character because today I want to teach you how to develop self-confidence.

I can assure you that this trait of character can make your life much easier and help you to achieve your sacred goals both in personal life and career.

Should you really be concerned how to develop self-confidence?

Well, I guess there is only one proper answer to such question: “Yes, you definitely should!” I often get surprised by people who truly believe that they can live staying in the shade while all appearing problems will be solved by somebody else.

I personally think that without any clue how to develop self-confidence a person cannot enjoy life to the fullest.

Life in modern world is constant struggle, where only a strong and self-confident person can survive and overcome all the difficulties on his/her way. Only few weak plants get the chance to live in hothouse conditions and grow up on the fertile ground under the shadow of a strong oak-tree. Others must either fight against all adverse conditions or… die.

If you don’t want to end up like this, you should learn how to develop self-confidence.

I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to dramatize the situation and scare you, thus I’m going to tell you one sad story with a happy ending of my mother’s friend.

They’ve been friends since college, and according to my mom, Anya has always been a modest girl with a complaisant character. Besides, her good looks attracted the attention of many boys around.

Being a college student, Anya married an authoritative man who was 10 years older than her.

She didn’t have to worry how to develop self-confidence anymore. Anya enjoyed prosperous life and took care of their newborn child.

However, the situation totally changes when a woman who had not worked a single day of her life and never even led normal lifestyle remained alone – Anya’s husband left her.

Moreover, it happened in the 90s when all people struggled to survive. Apart from the child, Anya had old parents who had also got used to comfortable living by their son-in-law’s son.

I remember how Auntie Anya cried in our kitchen, cursing her life. However, somehow she managed to pull herself together.

She sold some of her jewels, completed bookkeeping classes, found a job, started dating with one of the partners of the company and married him two years later!

However, Anya didn’t want to repeat her past mistakes and become dependent on her spouse.

She was not going to stay at home and become an oppressed sitting-duck, thus she started thinking how to develop self-confidence.

10 tips which will help you to develop self-confidence

“Self-confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are if you can’t see it yourself?”
Unknown author

These recommendations will be helpful not only for people who want to develop self-confidence, but also for those who want to become successful.

I’m quite sure that each one of you may make use of these pieces of advice.

1. Get yourself a little spiffed up.

   You will surely have difficulties with projecting self-confidence if you look like a shapeless doughnut, dress into your grandma’s dresses and try to pass by the beauty salons.

   Start changing on the outside and it will help you to develop self-confidence.

2. Fall in love.

   If a person is successful in the relationship, he/she becomes more confident.

   “I’m loved! Somebody’s waiting for me at home! I’m not hopeless if somebody needs me!” – say such words to yourself, and they will help you to develop self-confidence.

3. Don’t envy anybody.

   A person gains more complexes and lacks self-confidence if he/she envies more successful friends, relatives or colleagues.

   Try to understand that if one of your colleagues gets promoted, it happens because he/she deserves it more than you do. You should try to follow his/her example instead of envying the person.

   Don’t fall into anger.

   Work harder!

   Keep in mind, that if a very handsome guy chooses your friend over you, it is not because of your unattractive appearance or bad character.

   Sometimes love is unexplainable, so just learn how to deal with such situations.

4. Practise positive thinking.

   Think about future success, not about failures.

5. Improve your knowledge and skills.

   Keep in mind that the appraisal of your boss or bonus money to your salary can develop your self-confidence.

6. Self-development: study foreign languages, attend theatres and museums, read books.

7. Don’t give up immediately after your first failure.

   You have to realize that life doesn’t consist exclusively of victories and success.

   It looks more like a fairytale scenario, not a real life in modern world.

   In reality people have to fight, struggle and overcome obstacles, even if this all seems too difficult at first sight.

8. Improve your posture and change your gait.

   Don’t stoop and look at the ground as you walk – it looks simply horrible!

9. Smile more often, even if you feel the need to cry.

10. Don’t be afraid!

    And I’m not saying that you have to get rid of all your phobias at once!
    I’m talking about people who are afraid to live. Don’t follow their example – enjoy your life!

3 exercises that will help you to develop self-confidence

These exercises are quite simple, and you won’t have to spare much time and effort on them!

1. Parallel reality.

   The name of this exercise is relative.

   All you have to do is to spend 10-15 minutes, imagining different situations where you project self-confidence.

   Use your fantasy as much as possible!

   You have to believe in your own fantasies, thus you should take care of all the details of the situation: imagine your clothes, the place you are in, people around, different smells and noises that are present in your fantasy, etc.

2. Total relaxation.

   Actually, this exercise helps not only to develop self-confidence, but to deal with stress, exhaustion, irritation and anxiety as well. Besides, I consider this exercise to be very pleasant!

   I’d recommend you to do this exercise at home.

   However, if you are able to find a comfortable place where you can stay alone and lie down at work, you can practise such exercise during lunch break.

   Lie down, close your eyes, switch off your phone and try to transfer your thoughts to the most calming and relaxing place for 15 minutes: desert island, forest in the village by your grandma’s house, oasis in the desert,  picturesque waterfall, etc.

3. Introduction to the world.

   This exercise is a bit more difficult than the previous.

   You have to train your self-confidence every few days or at least once a week, depending on how fast do you want to achieve the results.

   Go to the movie, theatre, exhibition, restaurant on your own, ask a guy for a date first, accept the interview even if you don’t need the job, etc.

I can persuade you that by using the abovementioned recommendations you will be able to develop self-confidence and achieve all your desired goals in life!